I want to buy, buy, and buy

I am batch blogging again. I can’t stop writing. Why? Because I am working, and while everyone’s asleep or trying to get some, I might not have the chance to punch log on this site again to update myself of what I’m up to.

I want to buy a lot of things. Don’t worry, I was never a big spender, I wouldn’t have enough courage (or resources) to buy everything. I want a PDA palmtop to read all the ebooks I collected all these years. A laptop’s practical but I’m too lazy to plug and play and wait. I don’t need a phone. I got one but I’m not using it. Anymore. No friends. No boyfriends to contact. I’d get a phone when I’ll find a new job.

A game device, I need one. A PSP is tempting me. I mean, it has all the things I need, it could act as a PDA since all I’m interested is reading ebooks. But then, I could not blog on it. I found that there are some low-cost palmtops available now. The thing about PDA is that, whenever I see someone using (or showing off) his gadget, I can’t help but feel that they must be some busy “big-time” entreps. I can’t be that beautiful. I can’t carry that personality.

gtg.

It’s my sister’s birthday

My family never really celebrate birthdays or holidays. We never had the spirit. We don’t even give greets on occasions. But I would like to think that despite on that notion, we still remember things and we mean that we love each other even though we never show anything.

Now I was reminded, a few days ago, my sister and I were watching the news and there’s something about a former actress who tried to commit suicide that was shown. Then, my sister in her most annoying way told me that if maybe since I know (and love) a few famous people who killed their selves, I might do the same thing. I was to give my violent reaction bu then, it occurred to me, that I’m in a state right now of gathering all my inner peace and trying to invest them into something more meaningful. It doesn’t include quarreling with my sister. Quarrels were for people less than twenty years old and those who doesn’t pay their bills. So, back to my story, in the back of my mind, it’s funny to think that (although I’d admit it was more of offending) my sister think of me that way. I never entertain even when I was younger the thought of suicide since I’m almost sure that I’m afraid to die. And funnier, I used to think about the same thing to my sister. That she would do such thing if things turn out bad for her in this world. You see, my family, we’re keepers. We keep things to our selves including our worries and problems and sadness, blah blah blah. I’ve been low low and I knew my sister is in the process of changing her life. From student to job hunter. I could see myself in her shoes right now. So unsure of things, trying to kill worrying by investing her energies in delighting herself with her art and talents. I used to feel that for songwriting. Anyways, bottom line is, I was thinking, what my sister was thinking about me — that the other might do drastic things because things in life are ugly.

Well, no, it’s my sister’s birthday. Birthdays are happy days. I’m optimistic. I’m trying to. So maybe I should head home and buy something for my sister since she’s craving for a new set of soft pastel.

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