Ace: This is an old, copy + pasted joke, but it made me laugh hard this boring morning. I’ll try to translate the Tagalog comments. Oh, God, did it remind me the pain of creating MY OWN excuse letters when I was in school. Writing an excuse letter is my excuse for dreading absenteeism back then.
Filipino Excuse Letters
These are excuse notes from parents (including original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country (daw!)
1. My son is under a doctors care and should not take P.E . today. Please execute him.
(Hala! Sige. Silya elektrika at bitay. Sabay pa! O kaya niyo yun?)
Trans: (Kill him by electric chair and hanging simultaneously)
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
(Pag nag-absent pala papatayin ka…Baka may rabies…)
Trans: (If you absent from classes, you’ll be killed… maybe you got rabies)
3. Dear School : Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32, and also 33.
( Aba grabe to. Nasa kalendaryo pa ang birthday ko kung ganon. Hahaha!)
Trans: (This is too much. My birthday must still exist on the calendar then)
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
(Ano daw???? ) Trans: (What?)
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
(Hanapin natin!) Trans: (Let’s look for him!)
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
(Bwehehehe.. -. la ako masabi… Bwahahaha! Ganito kasi yan. Kinagat siya ni Lola sa noo sa gigil. Tapos nabali yung ngipin ng pustiso niya. Hahaha!!!)
(Comment is not funny)
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
(Buti pa veins niya. Close sila. Hahahaha!!!)
Trans: (It’s good that she and her vein are close, err, another comment that’s not funny)
8. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
(Aah…..eh. -…i…. .-ow….u. .-..) Trans: (A-E-I-O-U)
9. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
(So transsexual pala si Irving ?)
Trans: (So, Irving is transexual?)
10. Sally wont be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
( Ala e! Mabuhay ang Patay!! Mayroong Himala!!!)
Trans: (Long live the dead! There’s a miracle!)
11. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
(Stud service ba yung school nya? baka gremlins siya.)
Trans: (He must be a gremlin)
12. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
(Ay grabe! Iba na talaga ang mga kabataan ngayon. Hahaha!)
Trans: (Kids live differently these times.)
13. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat,headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
(Hahaha, telenovela.. -. bow. Makuwento siya ha… Kulang lang sa pansin…)
Trans: (She writes long telenovela, must be suffering from ADHD)
14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
(Winner to!!!!!!!!!! Ang galing!!!! Puwede rin kaya sa office ito?)
Trans: (Excellent! Can we use this in the office too?)
I’m officially an idiot!
Meron ako nito. Nde ko lang matandan kung saan ko to nabasa. Saan mo to nakuha, btw? =))
I guess you are older than me. I should have addressed you as Ate Arlene.
BTW, I’m Chiara. I’m 13.
sa isang multiply account. pero pag google mo yung kahit anong phrase nito sa net, matatagpuan mo sya!
oh no! i’m twice your age! ace na lang tawag mo saken, walang ate ha! add kita dito sa blogroll ko